Dushman-e-jaan, kaisi ho...!
Tum sochti ho gi ke kayi salon baad mujhe, tumhen khat likhne ka khayal kaise aa gaya... woh bhi aaj ke dour mein jab duniya ek e-mail kar ke bura bhala sab ko daalti hai... bas… kal Liberty wale Dunkin Donuts se guzar hua to laga jaise mera us se pehle ek janam aur bhi tha... jis mein tum thi aur mein... aur ek aisa jahan... jahan koi kami thi, nah dooriyan... nah koi fikr ya koi majbooriyan...
Waqt kab kaise guzar gaya... yeh maloom is liye nahin ho paata kyun ke waqt apni marzi se guzarta hai... aur peechay hum reh jaate hain... guzarte hue waqt ki dhaar se tarashe hue... kabhi zamane ke mathe ka jhoomar ban kar... ya isi zamane mein pehchan ki dhoop ko tarashe hue...kher...
Yaadon ki yalgaar itni ghani thi ke glazed donut ki mithaas aur coffee ki karwahat tak zaban par agayi thi... be ikhtiyar gaadi rok kar andar chala gaya...
Jahan hum dono ya hamare kuch aur dost betha karte the woh sab jagahen par thi... hamesha ki tarah no dawlatiyon ki tadad zyada thi... hamare pasandida konay wali table ke peeche ab ek shishe ki deewar bana kar us par paani ka aabshar gira diya gaya hai... acha lag raha tha... waiter ab bhi dheelay hain... mein kayi mint tak betha tumhari bezari aur bhook ki adam bardasht yaad kar ke muskurata raha... tum kitna charh jaati thi jab waiter baat hi nahin sunte the aur "ek minute, madam..." keh kar kisi aur table ko serve karne lagte the... aur tumhen lagta tha ke yeh un larkiyon ki mazein ke gird mandlate rehte hain jin ki jeans ya shirt had se zyada tang hoti thi aur aankhein seenkne ke wafir mauqe mojood hotay thay... aur mein tumhari ahmaqana sadgi par sar hilata rehta tha kyun ke hum unko tip humesha na hone ke barabar dete thay jabke baqi log un waiters ko khush kar diya karte thay...
Unhain sochon mein daant nikalay khalaon mein ghoor raha tha ke ek waiter mera jaiza leta table tak pahunch hi gaya... khijalat chhupate huwe order diya... bilawaja wahi order de diya jo hamesha tumhare saath hotay huay diya karta tha... 3 glazed donut aur 2 cuppaccino... tumhari hazelnut aur meri Mocha... sardi thi warna tumhen pata hai garmiyon mein hum iced tea ya coffee hi mangwate thay... ab itne bade order ko dekh kar hi bhook ud gayi thi... phir socha aaj tum nahi ho jo mujhe apni coffee se ek sip lene se rok sako... lekin cup honton tak la kar ruk gaya... socha... tum ne apni zindagi nahi banti meray saath... nah kabhi koi kitaab, notes, coffee nah donut... nah apne dil ka jungle, nah ronak... to ab is ek ghont ka kya faida... apni coffee peetay hue mujhe yehi lagta raha ke coffee aaj bohot zyada kadvi hai... shayad soch ki kadwahat zabaan mein sarayat kar jaati hai... isi liye log, logon ko kadwe lahjoun se chilane kar ke marne ke liye zinda chhod dete hain... tumhen nahi suna raha... shayad qalam bhi coffee pee kar aa gaya hai aur mere haathon apni kadwahat is kaghaz mein dafan kar raha hai...
Tumhare nah hone sab se bara faida us waiter ko hua... mein ne taqreeban order ki qeemat ke barabar us ko tip de di... itne saalon mein qeematain bohot barh gayi hain... to socha waiter ki tip bhi to upar jaani chahiye... abhi bhi kadhti hai itni badi raqam kisi par "raiygaan" jaate dekh kar ??? lagta to aisa hi hai ke tum mall owner ki bahu aur baap ki mill mein MD husband ki "trophy wives" ban kar badli nah hui ho gi... acha hai... badal jaane wale mujhe to waise bhi zehr lagte hain...
Bahar nikla to ek chhoti si bachi plaza ki seedhiyon par nange paon bethi thi... Lahore ka December to tum jaanti hi ho... is ke paon ke nakun neelay ho chale thay... mein shayad andar ke garam mahol se nikla tha to is liye kampkapi si chhadh gayi... is ki aankhon ka bhura kanch tak sardi se munjamid lagta tha... mein ne tumhari coffee aur donut jo ander se pack karwa laaye the is bachi ko thama diye... coffee abhi bhi garam thi shayad kyun ke bachi ne jab woh cup apne dono paon unglio ke beech phansa liya to mujhe laga bhura kanch pighalne laga hai... mili farak mein kahin kahin beige pink rang ki jhalak baqi thi... mujhe bachi ko yun ghoorte dekh kar na jaane kahaan se ek aurat nikal kar aa gayi... is bachi ne fori tor par ek donut us ki jaanib barha kar kaha... "le, kha le bebe"... mein ne chand hazaar nikal kar is aurat ke haath par rakh diye... phir is bachi ki taraf dekh kar poocha... "in paisoon se kya lo gi?"
"Roti" woh jhat se boli...
"Aur ???"
"Kuch nahi... bas roti" woh sar hila kar boli
Woh lamha meri zindagi ka sard tareen lamha tha... jis mein yeh ehsaas mere andar jam gaya ke Khuda ke baad is duniya ki sab badi haqeeqat bhook hai... mein chah kar bhi is ki maa se nah keh saka ke is ko garam kapray ya jootay le dena... gaadi tak pahuncha to mud kar dekha... woh coffee peetay hue bure bure munh bana rahi thi... aur ek baar phir mujhe tumhari yaad ke mahib saye ne dhanp liya...
Tum se pehli mulaqat ka aehwal aaj bhi dil mein taaza hai...
Pehli merit list lagi thi aur tum is mein apna naam na pa kar bohot mehnat se bure bure munh bana rahi thi... Tumhara beige pink top tumhare haathon ki har harkat ke saath tumhari blue jeans se thoda sa oopar uthata tha... aur tumhare gore pet ka lishkara ladkon ki aankhein chandiyaa kar raha tha... Tumhari masoomiyat tab bhi had se zyada thi... Bohot soon ki tarah mein bhi ghayal tha... Mujhe apna naam na aane ki f'ilhaal koi fikar nahi thi kyun ke abhi 2 lists aur baqi thi aur mujhe maloom tha ke merit 4 number to gir hi jaayega ke mujhe dakhla mil jaaye! Lihaza mabultat, janab ko bohot mauqaat se taar rahay thay aur tum mujhe dekh kar apni nanhi si naak chhadha deti thi !!! Aahista aahista sab kafay ki janib khasak rahe thay... Tum ne koi hazaaroon baar list check ki to mein tumhare qareeb hi khara tha... Tumhari naak ki nanhi si loongi mujhe bohot achi lagi... aur tumhein shayad mera ghurna shadeed tapa gaya... aur tum dhip dhip karti wahan se chali gayin... Itna himmat wala to mein kabhi bhi nahi tha ke tum se baat karta... woh to bhala ho agli list ka jis mein hum dono ka naam aa gaya aur ittefaq se hamara section bhi ek hi tha... mere notes aur hansi mazaq tumhein mere qareeb laayi lekin ab samajh mein aata hai ke tum ne apne dil mein mujhe kabhi woh jagah nahi di jo mein tumhein apne dil mein de chuka tha... Hum hamesha se saath betha karte thay lekin saath kabhi thay nahi... mein jaanta hoon tum yeh padhte hue bhi naak chadha rahi hogi kyun ke mere alfaaz tumhein banawati lagte thay aur ab bhi lagte hain... aur sirf alfaaz hi kya... tumhein to mere jazbaat, ehsasaat, mamlaat aur sadaqat tak banawati lagte thay... ab to aur bhi lagte honge... kyun ke ab tum tabq-e-aashrafiya mein shamil ho !!! aur imarat ka chashma laga kar dekho to saaf niyat ka shafaaf manzar bhi gadla hi dikhata hai !!! lekin meri baat ki ahmiyat hi kya... mein kya jaano amra'a o sharafa'a aur un ki aankhon ko!!!!
Jis baat ke liye Mirza Ghalib ban kar yeh khat likhne ka kashit uthaya hai woh to rahi jaati hai !!! Pichle mahine Royal Palm Club mein dekha tha tumhein... surkh phoolon se sajae phaan saari mein tum apsara hi lag rahi thi!!! Tumhari beizvi naaf ka chhed aur us mein pari hui nanhi si sonay ki zanjeeri mein jakra hira tumhare gore pet par sadqay waari ja raha tha... Tumhein idhar udhar dekhne ki fursat hi nahi thi kyun ke tumhare kangne, hiray aur shaan o shaukat dekh kar jal bhan jaane waali sabhi elite class aurton ne tumhein ghair rukha tha jo jhooti tareefain karti thakti nahi thi! Taskeen ke sharare tumhari matarnam hansi mein phootte aur gaalon mein gharoor ki laali gholti dikhayi deti thi... Tumhein khush dekh kar acha laga... lekin yeh bhi meri khush fahmi nikli... tum se juray har ehsaas ki tarah... jab mein ne tumhare shohar ko, sab ke samne, tum par chilaate dekha... ek hi saans mein us ne tumhein
gold digger, useless cu**nt, pathetic excuse for a wife
aur na jaane kya kya kaha... tumhare wahan se chale jaane ke baad bhi bohot kuch kehta raha jis ka lab labaab bas yahi tha ke woh aksar tumhein tumhari oqat yaad karwata raha... kabhi zabaan se aur aksar haath se... pehle socha shayad nashe mein ho ga... lekin thori deir us ko nazdeek se jaancha to samajh gaya woh ek zehni mareez hai jis ke haath aur zabaan se koi mahfooz nahi !!! Waiter to waiter, us ke apne dost aur milne waale bhi us se faasla rakhne par majboor thay...
Yeh sab dehrane ka maqsad tumhein azaat dena ya khuda na khwasta tumhari tazleel karna nahi... mahaz yeh poochna tha ke tum to kabhi bhi aisi nahi thi ke itni zillat aur tashadud bardaasht kar sako... to ab tak tum ne khud ko is qaid se nikalne ki koshish kyun nahi ki ??? Shayad tum ne samjhaudah kar liya hai ke ab kuch nahi ho sakta ya tum apni tazleel ko is life style ki keemat samajh kar totar se aane waale kisi bill ki tarah ada kar rahi ho chaahe woh kitna hi beja aur mehnga kyun na ho !!!
Lekin suno! Baat yeh hai ke kisi bhi qaid se nikalne ke liye kuch karna zaroorat hoti hai... aur kuch karna ke liye mahaz ek dhakke ki, jo hamein khauf ki had phela kar manzil ki janib larhakne par majboor kar de!!!
Tumhein Saima yaad hai? Wohi jis se mein kabhi baat kar leta ya notes share kar leta tha to tum shadeed chid jati thi... jis ki tumhein kabhi shakl pasand aayi aur na pehnawa... jis ko kabhi tum ne apne saath bhi nahi baithne diya tha ke tumhari zahiri khoobsurati ka sooraj us ki rooh ke chand se gahna na jaaye... jis ki masoomiyat tumhein makro farib lagti thi aur jis ki zehmat tumhari nazar mein bus tawajjuh hasil karne ka zariya thi... yaad hai? Yaad hi hogi kyun ke jin se tumhein haarnay ka darr hota tha woh tumhein yaad hi rehte thay!!! Jaise Alhan Azeem... hamare session ka sab se zehni ladka... jis ki tamam zehmat us ki mazoori ke samne bebas ho jaati thi... jis ki ghurbat har kisi ko ghurbat nahi balkay chhoot ki bimari lagti thi aur sabhi us se kuni kutra kar nikal jaate thay... aur tum... tumhein to lagta tha us ko hamare college mein dakhlay ka koi haq nahi tha... yaad hai?? Us ne kisi ke saath mil kar apna magazine nikala hai, "Alhan" ke naam se, jo kaafi hat ja raha hai...
Royal Palm mein, mein tum se milna chahta tha... phir socha tum itni khush ho... kyun tumhara mood off karoon... yeh bata kar ke mein ne tumhare liye band bajaane ki bajaay shaadi kar li hai!!! Aur woh bhi us ladki se jis se tumhara hasad aur nafrat misaali hai!!! Apne dil aur apni zindagi mein tumhari jagah mein ne us ladki ko de diya jis ko tum apni utrun nah do! Shayad us takleef ka badla lene ke liye jo mere khuloos bhare haath ko jhatk kar tum ne mujhe di thi!!!
Haan, tumkunat!!! Tumhari shaadi ke sirf ek saal baad mein ne Saima se shaadi kar li thi!!! Humara ek beta hai jis ka naam mein ne Alhan bin Hashim rakha hai... is Alhan Azeem ke naam par jis ka mahaz naam hi tumhari tabiyat mukaddar karne ke liye kaafi tha... mein apni chhoti si duniya mein bohot khush hoon aur mutmain bhi... tumhein bhi bohot khush samajhta tha ke lekin ab pata chala ke tum ne khud par azab musallat kar rakha hai jo har lamha tum se izzat nafas ka kharaaj mangta hai!!! Aur tum is azab se nikalne ke liye jis quwwat aur himmat ki muntazir ho woh hamesha se tumhare andar hai... hasad aur nafrat ki taqat!!!
Mein aur Saima ek doosre ke saath bohot khush hain! Aur hamara class fellow Alhan to bohot hi khush hai... ek khush nahi ho to tum nahi ho! Aur khud na khush reh kar hum sab ki khushi tum bardasht kaise kar sakti ho???
Is khat ke zariye hone wali hamari aadhi mulaqat ko woh dhaka samjho jo tumhein kuch karna par majboor kar de!!! Tum hum sab se haar rahi ho jo tumhein gawara nahi... is naam nahad shaadi mein, bas naam ki begum sahiba ban kar mere, Saima aur Alhan ke maazi se bhi zyada buri zindagi jee rahi ho tum! Hum se hasad aur muqablay hi ki khatir seh, is tootay hue rishte ki karchiyaan apne paon se nikaal phenko aur ek nayi zindagi shuru karo!!!
Mein yeh bhi jaanta hoon ke zubani, kalamai dawaaon par tumhein yaqeen nahi aata... is liye apni aur Saima ki shaadi aur Alhan ki pedaish ki kuch tasweerein bhej raha hoon! Aur haan Alhan ke taaza shumaar ki ek copy bhi!!! Umeed hai jalne kharne aur kuch karna guzarnay ke liye yeh sab bohot kafi hoga!
faqt
Tumhare maazi ka anmit naqsh
Hashim
Khatm Shud
